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The old ones are the best ;)

Here you can just talk about MEPIS or post interesting topics about what you have done in MEPIS that you want to share with others.
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ChrisUK
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The old ones are the best ;)

#1 Post by ChrisUK » Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:00 pm

This may not work, but I had 10 minutes to waste ;)

I was at the Airport when I saw this man struggling with two huge suitcases... dragging them behind him, each arm dragging a suitcase. But he seemed happy enough, and I wanted to know the time... so I asked him.

He stopped - tapped his Watch - said; "Time please Holly" - and as if by magic, a hologram of a young woman appeared beside him and said; "It's 8 pm, Nigel". I thought this was pretty cool, as the hologram was very realistic, so I asked him what else can it do.

"Project Sports channel on this wall, Holly", and the Sports channel was displayed on the wall. "Anything else", I asked. "Project 3D Home in real-time, Holly", and we was surrounded by, what I assume was, Nigel's home. You could walk through each room and examine objects etc, and apparently it was in real-time - so we could check that all was well there... no need for security cameras. In fact, Nigel said that "Holly" was monitoring his home 24/7, and would alert him instantly should something be amiss. Holly was also monitoring his mother's house, his daughter's house, and all of his social media accounts. So Nigel had it all covered.

"Do you want to sell it?"; I asked. "Not really", replied Nigel, "it's one of only two prototypes". We haggled a bit, and eventually he caved and sold me the Watch. I take the Watch - start to walk away - and he stops me - points to the two huge suitcases and says; "Don't forget the batteries"
Chris

MX 17 - Manjaro

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ChrisUK
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Re: The old ones are the best ;)

#2 Post by ChrisUK » Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:04 pm

OK, I thought maybe others would add a few jokes... I was wrong ;)

I'll add one more oldie and I'll quit:

------------------------------------------------------

I saw this very elderly man sitting by the side of the road, crying. "What's wrong, mate; are you OK?", I asked. He shook his head.

"Nowhere to live, are you homeless?". "No, I've a beautiful house", he replied."Money troubles?". "No", he said; "I've plenty of money". I tried again; "Lonely?". "No, I've a beautiful young wife that's a quarter of my age. She really loves me, will do anything to make me happy"

"Then why are you crying?", I almost shouted. "I can't remember where I live", he sobbed.
Chris

MX 17 - Manjaro

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colin_b
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Re: The old ones are the best ;)

#3 Post by colin_b » Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:36 pm

Jasper Carrott - Insurance Claim Form Statements
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhDwz2bmey0

Classic comedy.

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ChrisUK
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Re: The old ones are the best ;)

#4 Post by ChrisUK » Fri Sep 21, 2018 2:07 pm

Yeah, I used to like Jasper Carrot. Although rather unfashionable in these times of "Political correctness", I also liked Bernard Manning, not a "nice" man, but could make me cry with laughter. (I won't post any links, as most of my favourite jokes are not for the young or faint-hearted ;))
Chris

MX 17 - Manjaro

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